Sometimes the biggest barrier I face has nothing directly to do with outward fitness, and everything to do with learning to love myself.
Fear is a barrier.
Self doubt is a barrier.
Insecurity is a barrier.
The voice in your head in the gym that says you are not in shape enough/strong enough– that IS a barrier.
Just as I believe, I HAVE to invest in myself physically; I also believe that I have to invest in my emotional and mental state of being. For me, this means, recharge time, positive self-talk, and going to counseling.
The topic of going and “getting help” or seeing a counselor is a sensitive topic for many. I absolutely refuse to perpetuate the stigma that getting counseling makes you unable to process emotions on your own, or that it makes me weak. In the same way, you could make an argument against a need to have a formal gym membership. Sometimes, admitting that we need help is the most courageous thing we could do.
“There came a time when the risk to remain tight in the bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.”
I have been going to counseling for two and a half years. I go once to twice a month for an hour at a time. Counseling has helped me discover boundaries, helped me learn how to process conflict and how to be the best version of myself.
Mid-twenties can be hard. Mid-twenties mean that I am grieving for the “Katie” that I am not. I am not a social butterfly, I do not have a doctorate, I am not always happy being me. Things can seem so big locked inside my head. For me, simply verbalizing fears, insecurities and anxiety turns each into something that is not overcoming me, but simply, is yet another barrier to be overcome. I have no huge goals for where I will be in a year emotionally or mentally, except that I want to be more okay being me than I am now, just as I am more comfortable than I was at the same time last year.
I don’t have to runaway to become a different Katie. I can become a different Katie today, or be at peace with the Katie I am today. Either way, it takes investment and time to embrace the growth opportunities that are there.
Today, I was to grow and overcome and break some damn barriers.