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The RIGHT way to parent.

This blog has been neglected lately. It is hard for me to write in a fairly fitness-focused blog when my “fitness” at this point includes walking (not marathon running), pushups on my lunch time break (not fantastic crossfit workouts) and schlepping around my five month old in a car seat (can we talk about how flipping heavy those things are????).

Lately, my life is figuring out the intensely difficult task that is being a mom of two boys, working and trying to remain sane while still only getting a very limited amount of sleep.
Since my blog is obviously reflecting this period of time for me, I thought I would talk about a topic that in some way I think about every.single.day.

Mom wars.

Let me give an example. In high school, there was this group of girls, the dance team girls, and they were seriously cool. Being a choir-geek, I did not effortlessly fit in with those girls. I didn’t get invited to the sleepovers, or the parties, I just didn’t fit. I think many would say that they liked me well enough, just didn’t fit the “cool kid” mold.

On the other side of the Shelton High School parking lot (sticking with the high school analogy), is the jocks. These ones I VERY MUCH did not fit in with. They were basketball, volleyball or softball playing ladies who had a ton of shared experiences and were all super close knit. I didn’t have a sport, I just didn’t fit.

Don’t get me wrong, I had a ton of friends, many of whom I still think fondly of today. But, I didn’t cleanly fit into any one specific clique.

The same cliques exist in moms – stay at home moms, working moms, attachment-parenting moms, formula vs breastfeeding advocates, cosleeping vs. cry it out or sleep training, vaccination vs not, etc. Here is the thing, I have heard myself say on many occasions suggest we all just do what our gut tells us to do and use the best information at that point in time to try and figure out how in the hell to balance this crazy thing that is parenting.

But, here is the thing. In the back of my mind, I always seriously think…but, MY choices are the right ones. Believe me, I do agree with the statement I made, but, I also do not apologize for feeling like my way of parenting is the best. For me, five years and two boys in, I am doing the best that I can with the resources that I have and I truly feel like I am making the choices that my boys need me to make. But, here is the thing, you (whoever you are), I am sure are doing the same thing. You are making the choices that your child(ren) need for you to make and are also doing the best that you can. I suggest, we all stop apologizing and dancing around the issue and simply admit that our parenting is the right method, but, also understand that it only is the right method for me and my children.

I think this thought process can be extended to all controversial aspects of parenting, or all controversial issues in general. The beautiful India Arie wrote in her song, “One” that “We can debate until the end of time who is wrong or right or we can see ourselves as one cause it all comes down to love”.

Keep on, mamas! Trust your gut, because I know I will continue to trust mine.

   
 

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