I wanted to write and give a quick update on how I am doing with my weight post baby. I started this blog as a way to really study and write about various plateaus that occur while on a fitness or weight loss journey. At that point, I had NO IDEA that another baby was on the horizon. Turns out, there was and now that I am almost nine months post-partum, I wanted to document where I am right now and reflect. Having a baby is no joke. A body that I knew – strong running legs, fit arms, fairly tight stomach, all of the sudden turned into a bit of a stranger to me. As much as I attempt to embrace the incredible things my body has done – birth two children, nurse two children, run two marathons, etc, it is hard. Struggling with an eating disorder and healthy body image is not a struggle that stops when I get pregnant and it certainly does not stop after birth.
I gained around 45 pounds with Harrison, 30 of those pounds came home with me after the hospital. When I came home from the hospital, I weighed 165 pounds and was pretty horrified at how my body looked.
Within four months, I had dropped twenty pounds. I did very little physically, and was not tracking calories. I attribute all of this weight loss to nursing and losing the fluids I was retaining.
At nine months after, I am now 30 pounds down and have officially lost all of the baby weight.
Here is the painful truth – I may have lost the weight, but, I am by no means the same shape. I have very little muscle and am still not used to my body. Each day, after having an eating disorder, the thoughts creep in, in some way. What I have learned, is how I respond to those thoughts is so important. I have two incredible boys who I want to pass on a positive body image too. When my mind says “you look FAT in that”, I so quickly try to redirect the thought to something positive. This method by no means works all of the time, but, I will not quit trying to replace the negative thought with positive ones. My boys deserve to have a mom that will wear a swimsuit, run around with them and feel like the rockstar that they see me as (at least right now). I am sure that over time, some muscle will return and hopefully I will be a bit more proud of the body that I have. But, for right now, I am really going to try and embrace this season and not be too hard on myself.
My number priority right now is not me, and I think that is okay. And, it may be a mom suit, but I will be rocking that mom suit!
Any other moms out there struggle with body image after baby?
Thanks for reading and following me on my journey!